Concurso de Spam

El spam no siempre nos jode, a veces llega a ser tan irreverente que hasta resulta divertido... pongo un correo que me ha llegado hace poco:

Dear Sir/Madam

How are you and Your Family ? Hope Well. Thats Fine. Pardon me, I know you dont know me, But this is a Good chance for us to Know each Other. I am Seeking your Assitance in a Transaction that Involves my Family's.

l have to send you this mail and I know you must be busy and you might Find it Difficult to reply my Mails, but if You can give me your Number i can Call you a your Free time. My previous Mails contained Information about the Assistance I need for you to do for My Family, I am a Widow with 2 Kids and my brother Inlaw (Richard). We are From Angola, I lost my Husband there, which is
On Reasons i have contacted you. We could no Longer Stay in Angola due to some reasons beyond our Control. My Husband a Traditional Ruler, at the Time of His Handing Over the Post to the Next Man, got Involved in some sort of Mis-understanding that Cost his Life.
We had to leave, It was No Longer safe, Just for the Future of My Family. We had to Leave for Mauritus to Escape the Pressure and knowing Fully Well, How hard it was going be for us in Another World, An Island in the Indian Ocean. From here we have been trying to Contact you via the Internet and its not easy. But i have hope we would get Connected to you some day.

From Here we have also Managed to radio our Friend and Sympathizers back in Angola. With the Help of Richard my Brother In-law. We managed to get some Money to start our lives afresh. Most of the Money are From the Land Area my Husband Had. Some we sold and some we have
Precious Stones Mining Sites. We had to let all that Go Down the Drain, But we made Seventy.Five Million US Dollars for selling out all we hope on, So i only Hope is this Funds too.

We had to lodge the Funds under the Security of a Security Outfit here in Maurtius, which is our Present Location, we were making arrangements to contact for Help, So you can Help us in getting this Funds overseas so we could start a New Life. Please we are Innocent people Trying to make a Living. We need a change of Enviromrnt because we have seen the Worst here and For the Children most especially, I feel they Need to relocate. With the funds we have managed to raise
and your Help, I beleive you would be saving our Souls. Please dont let us waste away.

Imagine, what my kids could be in Future if they could just reach for that Helping Hand which you could offer. The Banking System in Mauritius has not joined the International Banking System, where we can Tranfer this Funds to our desired destination accounts oveseas. We need someone who we can trust like you on the International Level, since we haven,t had the Chance to own foriegn Accounts. We will pay For your Services, We will give you a Certain Percentage.

I am willing to give you give you a certain percentage of this fund. I will be happy if you could serve as our guardian. We livelike refugees here in Maritius, because its not our home, we pray we can work this out a quick as possible, so we can eventually have peace. Please its no longer safe here anymore for me, i don't even know what the future holds for my kids, they have stopped school for 5 months now.

Please try to forward me a phone number i can reach you so i can give you more details on the exact role which is required of you for the successfully conclusion of this transaction's I look forward to your earliest response, Please I need your help and I believe with your help my life and that of my family will be safe.Please for security reasons you are to respond back to my secure email address. Email: (madam_rosa54@yahoo.com) (madam_rosa55@hotmail.com)
Thank You
Madam Rosa.
Tel: 011-874 763 432 270

En fin, para partirse el culo... ¿me estás diciendo que me vas a dar un porcentaje de los setenta y cinco millones de dólares por guardártelos en mi cuenta bancaria? claro, como soy una persona en la que tienes tanta confianza... para descojonarse. Por otra parte, caso de que fuese verdad (que ni de coña), que se joda la familia de un puto cacique local angoleño.

Aquí pongo otro del mismo estilo... la verdad es que no sé qué historia es más increible.

FROM THE DESK:
Dr ,MIKE OBADA
CHIEF ACCOUNTING OFFICER
ATTENTION:
I AMMIKE OBADA THE CHIEF ACCOUNTING OFFICER OF A BANK.THE FINANCIAL STATEMENT OF OUR BANK IS OVER($48,000,000.00 (Fourty Eight million US DOLLARS) AND THE CURRENT ASSETS OF OUR BANK IS RELATIVELYLIQUID
RESOURCES. THIS CATEGORIES INCLUDES CASH,INVESTMENTS IN MARKETABLE SECURITIES, RECEIVABLE,INVENTORIES AND PREPAID EXPENSES. IN RECENT YEARS THE ANNAUL REVENUE OF OUR BANK HAS EXCEEDED TO US$100.000 (ONE HUNDRED THOUSEND UNITED STATES DOLLARS)AND MY
RESPONSIBITY IS FOR ME TO MAINTAIN ADEQUATE MONETARY INTERNAL CONTROL,CONTROLLING THE BANK CASH POSITION, BUDGETTING AND FOR THE PREPARATION OF ACCOUNTING RECORDS AND FINANCIAL STATEMENT.
THE NUMBER OF CAPITAL SHARES WHICH HAS BEEN ISSUED FOR THE YEAR 2002 IS UNDER MY JURISDICTION IS US$300,000 AND THE OUTSTANDING SHARE THAT IS PRESENTLY UNDER MY CONTROL AND SUPERVISION IS US$2,000,000,000.00 (TWO BILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS).
WE ARE IN THE SECOND QUARTER OF THE YEAR 2003 AND I NEED A RELIABLE
FOREIGN PARTNER THAT WILL ASSIST ME TO TRANSFER THE FUND INTO HIS BANK ACCOUNT. I HAVE MANAGERIAL CONECTION TO MAKE SURE THAT THE
MONEY IS TRANSFERED INTO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT BY ELECTRONIC WIRE TRANSFER. I NEED THE FOLLOWING BANKING INFORMATION:
1. THE NAME OF YOUR BANK
2. THE BANK ADDRESS
3. THE BANK ACCOUNT
4. THE BANK ROUTING/SWIFT CODE
5. THE BANK BENEFICIARY
6. YOUR COMPANY NAME
WITH THE ABOVE INFORMATION, I WILL GET AN APPROVAL THAT WILL HELP TO MAKE THE PAYMENT OF US$68,MILLION US DOLLARS INTO YOUR NOMINATED BANK ACCOUNT AND THIS WILL ONLY TAKE US 14 BANKING WORKING DAYS TO EXECUTIVE THIS FINANCIAL BUSINESS TRANSACTION THAT WILL BENEFIT BOTH PARTIES. WE HAVE AGREED TO SHARE THE FUND AS
FOLLOW: 25% WILL BE GIVING TO YOU HAS THE OWNER OF THE ACCOUNT
WHERE THE FUND WILL BE TRANSFER AND 65% WILL BE FOR ME AND 10% FOR VALUE ADDED TAX THAT WILL BE REQUIRED BY YOUR BANK OFFICIAL.
THE BANK WILL SEND YOU VALID CONCRETE AUTHORIZATION DOCUMENT AND TELEX CONFIRMATION WILL BE SEND TO YOUR BANK AND FOR YOU TO VARIFY FROM YOUR BANK AS SOON AS THE FUND HIT YOUR BANK ACCOUNT.
I WILL BE EXPRECTING YOUR URGENT COMPLIANCE AND FEED BACK.
YOURS TRULY,
Dr MIKE OBADA

Y ahora me pregunto... ¿joder, habrá alguien que pique en ésto? es de suponer que sí, porque si no no se molestarían en mandarlos.